This morning, I had planned to begin writing at 6:30 a.m. Coffee to my right, I just wanted to take care of a couple of quick emails before writing this blog. The email was ready, I hit the send, and then the error messages began. It took forty five minutes and three years off my life to reach a human voice that could actually help me with my problem.
And then the “help” was dubious- it seemed that we were in a secret society because my technical help and I were in a verbal dance of whispered direction from her and me saying, “Excuse me, I can’t hear you.”
We danced that step over and over again with me trying to follow her directions. Eventually, she said, “M’am, I need to put you on hold which led to a recording of music that quickly turned to, “Are you having a problem with your software? If so, press one.” I, of course ignored the suggestion to, “Press one,” because the temptation was to bang on one and then also bang on two, three and four. Obviously, I completely disregarded the yellow post-it note stuck on my phone with the words, “Use the phone to bless,” because inner turbulence was trumping the desire to bless and the result was barely contained stress.
With a deep breath, I dialed again to seek help, praying that my reasonably good behavior, as in I hadn’t snarled at anyone despite the fact that the stress of the situation was chewing on me, would bring something good back to me. This time, Sylvia, walked me through new directions in a clear voice and a vocabulary that invited shared understanding. Ninety minutes later and with one year of my life restored, the computer was behaving again. I figure that my emotional state in that ninety minutes looked something like this:
There is no question that my inner shift from calm to keen frustration for most of the nearly ninety minutes was proof of the words from novelist, Vicki Baum. “You don’t get ulcers from what you eat; you get ulcers from what’s eating you.” That’s a powerful insight.
But that was just from 6:30 a.m. to 9:00 a.m.; and I still have a full day to live. You know as well as I do that there are other frustrations waiting to pounce:
The small annoyances….
The driver in front of you who hasn’t turned off his turning signal.
A pet who isn’t housebroken.
Hot coffee spilling on you at the drive through.
Lousy food in the plant cafeteria.
A client who doesn’t show up for our meeting…for the third time this month.
Annoyances that have gotten bigger…
A boss who makes unreasonable requests/demands.
Winter weather that’s unpredictable.
Slow and inefficient security lines at the airport.
A change in the health plan that’s taking an even bigger chunk out your salary.
Stresses of daily life…
Too much to do.
Too connected to technology.
Not connected enough in relationships.
Life’s challenges….
A death.
A divorce.
Chronic illness
Life’s tragic memories…
Grudges held.
Weary anger.
Betrayals.
The stuff that bugs me and hurts me and frightens me blocks my power for responding in ways that build my strength. The stuff that bugs me and hurts me and frightens me creates a defensive style that skews my outlook in a negative way.
I’m overequipped for frustration and anger; and that stress leads to physical problems. It’s proven that clinging to negativity can lead to migraine headaches, arthritis, heart trouble, backaches, ulcers, depression and digestive disorders…and that’s the short list.
It’s time to equip ourselves for something better. And the gift of GOMO! lights the way.
photo credit