"Really big people are, above everything else, courteous, considerate and generous -- not just to some people in some circumstances -- but to everyone all the time" (Thomas J. Watson)
A couple of years ago, seven teenagers spent the night with us. Arriving from Iowa to attend a graduation party, their hosts needed extra beds, so we offered our home. We changed sheets, washed towels, bought food, and looked forward to their arrival.
Our anticipation was soon overshadowed by their curious arrival and stay.
Five of the seven teens said nearly nothing to my husband or me in the 36 hours that they used our home. It was one of the quietest experiences I’ve ever had with a crowd of people. We didn’t hear “hello” when they arrived, “good morning” when they came in for breakfast or “thank you” when they left though we heard them talking with each other just fine (which assured us that they weren’t a troupe of mimes!).
Later, I was talking with my son and daughter about the experience.
I thought their behavior was odd…and rude. My son listened to my story, and then asked, “So Mom, you like being hospitable as long as people say thank you?”
“Well, uh, yes, I guess that’s true….”
As much as I think I’d like to become the saint who offers hospitality with absolutely no strings attached, I have to admit that good manners and interpersonal courtesies catch my attention. They sweeten the time and strengthen the energy given to serving others.
Words from Ghandi make this point, "When restraint and courtesy are added to strength, the latter becomes irresistible."
Courtesies and good manners in the workplace also sweeten and strengthen.
In the past few months, two clients share the similarity of existing in the same community. There, the resemblance comes to a near standstill. One client has an organizational climate of disorganization, tardiness, chronic apology, and defensiveness about receiving the help they requested. The other gives dogged focus to discovering their essential purpose, assures timely meetings and appointments, exudes confidence and delight about their future, and expresses eagerness for new and shared learning and growth supported with sincere and powerful words of appreciation for each other as well as for me.
Which client would you most want to work with each day?
Is your workplace most similar to that preferred client?
Bernie Brillstein, author of The Little Stuff Matters Most, says that, "Outcomes rarely turn on grand gestures or the art of the deal, but on whether you’ve sent someone a thank-you note."
Though living without thank-you notes is easy enough, I’m quite certain that existence is vastly improved with the strength of courtesies and good manners. Would you agree?
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