"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightening and the lightening bug." --Mark Twain
Wow, really, I had nothing, absolutely nothing to do with Michelle Obama’s stunning and specific example of the following insight that I planned to share with you next week in our current series about making a powerful first impression. We'll expand on it more in the next blog in the series, and apply it to Mrs. Obama's comments today.
Although your word power impacts people just 7% compared to the visual impact (55%) and vocal tone (38%) in your first impression, it is primarily your word power that builds or breaks your relationships in subsequent meetings.
Though I didn’t see Mrs. Obama’s comments live, this is the quote that I pulled from miamiherald.com:
Michelle Obama, 44, an Ivy League-educated lawyer (Princeton, Harvard Law), was campaigning for her husband in Wisconsin when she said: “For the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country. And not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change. And I have been desperate to see our country moving in that direction."
(Just google Michelle Obama to find more on this topic. You may be wow’ed by the reaction over the past couple of days to the words in red).
Word power- it helps or hinders in nearly every piece of conversation.
Rather than just worrying about “good damage control” as noted by George Stephanopoulos on ABC’s World News, how about concern for more authentic and heartfelt communication?
- Admit the mistake in the way she expressed herself (unless of course, it was no mistake, but that would be another blog!). What’s wrong with saying,
“I goofed. I didn’t accurately communicate what was going on in my thinking. Please let me correct myself.” - Recognize that some of the reaction relates to the limited trust that people feel towards politicians. According to a paragraph in The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey: “The World Economic Forum does an annual worldwide study comparing the amount of trust people have in various institutions, including national governments, global companies, and large local companies….In surveys comparing trust levels in various professions, can you guess who consistently comes out dead last? It’s the politicians….” Why is their ranking so low?
Covey goes on to write about: "….intent (italics mine) - either the real or the assumed intent of those involved. What is their motive or agenda? Do they really care about what’s best for everyone involved? Or are they primarily interested in political power, party politics, their own ego, or in what they can get out of it for themselves?" - Avoid using absolute words; rarely are they accurate or believable. Shortly after reading the words from the miamiherald.com article, I watched a YouTube video of Mrs. Obama in a subsequent speech to women voters in Rhode Island. She specifically said, "…We aren't doing this for ourselves. This is not about us; this is about our future…"
Really? Are those statements believable? “We are not doing this for ourselves. This is not about us…" Hmmm, I’ve just not noted that absolute level of altruism in a politician… - Avoid using language to make excuses for yourself or to blame others. Hold yourself accountable to the words that you use. Again, wouldn’t a sincere apology or expression of regret be more palatable than excuses or blaming?
Democratic Sen. Barack Obama sought Tuesday to clarify his wife’s statement that she is proud of the U.S. "for the first time in my adult life.” He said her newfound pride is about the political system and was not meant to disparage her country…” Statements like this are made and people try to take it out of context and make a great big deal out of it, and that isn’t at all what she meant,” Obama said. “What she meant was, this is the first time that she’s been proud of the politics of America,” he said. “Because she’s pretty cynical about the political process, and with good reason, and she’s not alone. But she has seen large numbers of people get involved in the process, and she’s encouraged.”
Finally, before closing this entry giving some evaluation of Mrs. Obama’s remark, I’m reminded of a quote from Scottish author, J.M. Barrie, "Never ascribe to an opponent motives meaner than your own."
Photo credit: Story Accents
