GOMO! Buddies

GOMO! - A Relevant Gift for Right Now

As I read the MSN online headlines today about who has what, who wants what, and who can’t get what she wants, my thoughts automatically turn to the dramatic need for a GOMO! perspective in today’s world. GOMO! (Get Over it; Move On!), is a gift to yourself. GOMO! provides a new lens for the way that you see your circumstances, even the incredibly difficult ones of economic challenges, real estate worries, health concerns, and job loss.

GOMO! remains relevant for many of us who express concern about our culture’s “me-first” mantra—about a society in which excess and entitlement are the norm, where many refuse to accept not getting their way. And some of us worry about how this kind of culture has impacted our own values and thinking.

Publishers Weekly writes that Dr. Jean Twenge and Dr. W. Keith Campbell (authors of The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement), provide substantial evidence to prove that, “the U.S. is suffering from an epidemic of narcissism, as real and as dangerous as the more widely reported obesity epidemic.”

However, the material goodies—large homes, expensive cars, and assorted “toys”—that were once within our reach may no longer be feasible. Even when the economy settles, most of us will be changed forever, from our close to graduating son who is currently defining career aspirations, to our daughter who is re-evaluating her college dollars, to my need to talk with my husband about shifts in retirement planning.

I’m using GOMO! as an immediate help to adjust my expectations and reconsider priorities with acceptance and gratitude. I know that it can help.

Try GOMO!; I think you’ll agree that it gives:

• A way to stop the “me-first” perspective (entitlement)
• A way to live from the power of love and gratitude
• A shortcut that “cuts to the chase” for more authentic choices
• A new habit for a higher quality of life that keeps on growing

Photo credit

The GOMO! Way Focuses on Life

“We lost everything, but we didn't lose anything."

Dana Anderson, speaking from a wheelchair, uttered these words in explaining his perspective on the tornado that ravaged his home town, Parkersburg, IA.

The tornado unleashed more of its fury just as Dana and his sister sat down to eat. The siren wailed, they snatched their hot dogs, and hustled for the basement.

Too late.

The tornado forced open their back door; and walls tumbled down on Anderson, injuring his head and his leg and his home. Despite initial warnings that he would lose his leg, the leg is getting better, and Anderson is feeling more optimistic.

His circumstances give his words even greater power.

"We lost everything, but we didn't lose anything. Because all we lost is stuff. Never once did any of that stuff jump up and give me a hug. God had his hands all over us that day."

I’ve taken Dana Anderson’s words to heart. He reflects the GOMO! way. After considering his circumstances, Dana made his decision to  Get Over the pain and the damage of the tornado in his life. He’s not allowing the tornado that wreaked havoc with his physical possessions to wreak havoc in his emotional life. His decision is to Move On with the strength of his conviction that life is what matters. His. His sister’s. And the lives of their friends and neighbors in Parkersburg.

Dana Anderson is not despairing over stuff; he is rejoicing in life. It’s a GOMO! perspective; and I’m grateful for his testimony to it. How about you?

photo credit:  Anthony

Get off the Merry Go Round of Junk Talk- Move On to Actions of Strength

      A nine year old refused to whine and complain (useless Junk Talk!) when leaders in Remsen, IA decided to remove a broken merry go round from the town park. Instead, he influenced his sister to help him do something about it. Together, they initiated a petition to save the playground icon. A “whole lot of people” signed their petition that they then took to City Hall.

     The result?

     Two kids with a combined age of about 19 years convinced the group of City Council members to repair the merry go round and give it a fresh coat of paint.

     Wow! Tom and Jenny Ahlers put GOMO! to work. They got over the negative news by focusing on their combined strength to move on with personal power. In achieving their goal, their strength was rewarded. Now, even more confidence is in place for the next challenge that comes their way, and they are remembered as kids with influence. Is that an example I’m following today? Are you?

Photo credit: Mr. Thomas

technorati tags: GOMO!, junk talk, Susan B Wilson, merry go round, petition, Remsen Iowa

Does the American Red Cross need a GOMO! for its own potential crisis?

Ruh Roh- the president of the American Red Cross may need a GOMO!

In reading articles about the lawsuit of the American Red Cross by Johnson and Johnson this past week, I think that Mr. Mark Everson (President of the Red Cross) needs to review the second step of GOMO!- Own the facts to help him Get Over it!- the “it” being his conflict over the use of the red cross symbol.  Reading his quotes with emotionally laden words leads me to suggest that he now needs to focus on the facts of the case.

Of course, there are many more, but here are five of the facts that lead to additional questions for Mr. Everson:

1. The red cross symbol is a trademark owned by Johnson and Johnson since 1887- regardless of the altruistic reputation of the American Red Cross vs. Johnson and Johnson, isn’t there a law to respect here?
2. In press releases, the American Red Cross is stating that its use of the red cross symbol began in 1881 though the organization did not receive a charter until 1900- why is the ARC angry that Johnson and Johnson wants to seek protection of what it owns?
3. Johnson and Johnson gave the ARC the right to use the mark in connection with non-profit relief services- hasn’t this been a helpful and beneficial collaboration over the years?
4. The president of the ARC is slinging insults and bashing Johnson and Johnson’s reputation- is there value to creating escalated anger and conflict rather than making the effort to resolve the conflict at hand?
5. Numerous blog comments have stated that they associate the red cross symbol with the American Red Cross and not Johnson and Johnson- what does this perception have to do with respecting the law?

Johnson and Johnson have sought opportunities to resolve the dispute including third party mediation. The American Red Cross has not welcomed the efforts.

Hmmm…

GOMO! has its best chance when we are willing to consider each of the steps for Get Over it!- Get connected with your feelings, Own the facts, Make a decision for getting over it, and Opt for action that matters. It’s time for Mr. Mark Everson to show strength of leadership in the relationships with Johnson and Johnson as well as in his goal of protecting the use of the red cross symbol.

Photo Credit: Vidiot

technorati tags: GOMO!, Susan Wilson, American Red Cross, Johnson & Johnson, Mark Everson, get over it, move on

Blabbing, Gabbing, and Jabbing Slow Down the GOMO!

WOW, I can hardly help myself. I just have to check the latest on Isaiah Washington and the most recent state of his “apology” for the clash with Patrick Dempsey and the anti-gay slur used in the mud slinging.

After nearly 20 years of raising two children to accept responsibility for their behavior, I’m just blown away by Isaiah Washington’s inability to “Move On!” from his Grey’s Anatomy diatribe and subsequent firing.

May I zero in on a quote from his Larry King interview of July 2, 2007.  "I felt sorry for myself," the 43-year-old actor told King. "I'm not going to lie. I felt sorry for myself many times. You fall into that little space and go, 'Why me? Why me?'"

Mr. Washington, here’s one reason for why you!

You gave a false positive apology. Rather than wrapping the apology in true regret and repentance with your focus on a regrettable incident, your contrition seems to be in pursuit of a reward important to you. Is it respect? Shared blame? The role of Dr. Preston Burke? When you didn’t get what you were after, you turned to a volatile combination of blaming others, the race card, and a “poor me” perspective.

A sincere apology is an expression of one’s personal culpability. It’s not predicated on the behavior or faults of anyone else. A sincere apology focuses on the healing of a relationship, not for what you receive in return. Sometimes, our best show of strength is an admission of, “I messed up. What can I do to make it better?” We don’t always get a “happy ending,” but most often we move into a new dimension of integrity.

Maybe I’m the one who now needs to do a GOMO! and simply wish Mr. Washington well. And, I do.

technorati tags: GOMO!, Susan B Wilson, get over it, Isaiah Washington, Grey's Anatomy

It’s Neither Black Nor White for a Former Grey’s Anatomy Star

Seriously. Here’s a man in desperate need of a GOMO!® (Get Over it; Move On!)

Isaiah Washington, a former star of Grey’s Anatomy, was fired for his altercation with a co-star and his use of an anti-gay word. Curiously enough, he repeated the word again at a Golden Globes Award Show, while denying that he used it the first time.

Hmmm…

Take a moment to google Washington’s name, and you too can keep up with the story of his firing and the trilogy of apology, blame, defend, apology, blame, defend, apology…

The situation is pretty simple to understand. There was an argument that involved two egos, inappropriate things were said, there were consequences, and Isaiah Washington lost his job for the anti-gay comment that received a windstorm of publicity.

When faced with a problem, part of the ability to really GOMO!®  is to recognize and take action on my part of the responsibility for an issue. It doesn’t work for me to accept responsibility, but only if you accept some as well. It doesn’t work for me to apologize, but only in a way that protects my interests. It doesn’t work for me to manipulate a situation so that I can feel better about my errors.

Seriously.

What works for a lasting GOMO!®  in most conflicts is to truthfully acknowledge error, boldly accept responsibility for remedy, and to take respectful action that is valuable for resolving the problem and healing relationships.

Photo credit: Victoria Nessa

technorati tags: GOMO! get over it move on Isaiah Washington Grey's Anatomy Susan Wilson

Never Mind Pumping Iron; Sing Your Way to Greater Strength!

Have you witnessed the power of Paul Potts, by now, a former “mobile phone” salesman from South Wales who wowed Britain’s Got Talent last week? Listen to him by linking to The Today Show or to You Tube. Listen to him, and you’ll hear the GOMO! (Get Over it; Move On!) power. It’s strength that he’s developed over the years by making the intentional decision to get over the bullying of his childhood and the disappointments of his adult life by focusing on the beauty and strength of his voice.

Paul’s voice is an instrument of great passion and beauty that is supported by his inner strength. Though Paul claims that “confidence has always been sort of a difficult thing for me,” it is clear that his voice has been a source of great comfort when he has needed to “Move On!” from the situations that have needed a “Get Over it.”

In an interview on the Today Show, Paul told host Meredith Vieira that, as a chubby  child, he was teased about his clothes, called names, and bullied. To get over the bullying (his “it”), Paul sang.  He went on to say, “I’ve just always sung. My voice has been my best friend. When other things have gotten me down, my voice has always been there.”

In the GOMO! tradition, Paul never gave up. In the GOMO! tradition, Paul used his voice to Move On! with strength. He focuses on that personal strength when he says, “I think in some ways the bullying I had made me the person I am. I hope that people who feel that their confidence is down because they have been bullied actually see a source of inspiration and get out there and take a risk.”

Paul has quit his job as a salesman, and is now cutting his first CD. I can hardly wait to buy my first copy as a reminder that GOMO! is a “miracle grow” that works for all of us. What about you?

technorati tags: GOMO, Paul Potts, Britain's Got Talent, bullying, get over it, move on

It Was Quite a Ride!

  A fascinating “oops” hit national news when a report was made about a Michigan man’s wheelchair getting stuck in the front grille of a semi truck. The level of fascination grew as it was reported that the man was in his wheelchair while it was stuck and traveling 50 MPH for a two-four mile stretch on a highway near Paw Paw, Michigan. Talk about peeling out! Can you see the streaks and smell the rubber?!

Police greeted the semi’s driver when he pulled into a lot, asking him if he was aware of his passenger. He was not. He was shocked to learn that Ben Carpenter, a twenty one year old young man with muscular dystrophy, had apparently pulled his wheelchair out in front of the semi-truck. His wheelchair handles became lodged in the rig’s front grille as the truck began to move. The driver couldn’t hear the young man’s yells over the hum of his truck, and so he pulled his rig onto the highway.

The accounts of the incident suggest that the young man pulled out in front of the truck; the unwitting driver had no way of knowing that a passenger was tagging along.

The unfazed passenger was quoted as saying, “It was quite a ride.”

What a great example of a GOMO!- Get Over it; Move On! Though there could have been a potential tragedy, there wasn’t. Though the young man expressed feeling fear and trepidation about his plight while traveling those few miles, the incident was short lived and he emerged unscathed. Though he could have focused on what might have been, he chose to focus on the present, happy to be safe and uninjured. Now, he has a story of a lifetime.

Ben Carpenter is a living testimony to Get Over it; Move On! Get over the fear of the ride, own the facts of what you did to create the situation, make the decision to forgive yourself and the unknowing driver for what happened (a true accident and no charges are being filed), and move on to consider what was positive in the experience (he had on his seatbelt, it was a short ride, and he may be fielding calls from morning talk shows!).

technorati tags: GOMO!, Ben Carpenter, muscular dystrophy, Paw Paw MI, wheelchair

Hey Judge, Keep Your Shirt On (If Not Your Pants) and Get Over it!

Have you heard the one about the judge who is suing a drycleaner for about $54 million in damages because of missing pants and his claim of consumer fraud?

No, it’s not a bad joke; it’s the truth.

     And the truth is what Judge Roy Pearson needs to consider to “Get Over it”- “it” being his anger and long held grudge kicked off by lost pants at a local dry cleaning business. Several googled stories about the lawsuit indicate that Pearson’s opening statement to the presiding judge indicated that he is “acting in the interest of all city residents against poor business practices.”

Right…

   He also expressed that, by not living up to their displayed sign of, “Satisfaction Guaranteed,” the dry cleaner owners created emotional distress in addition to unfair business practices. Mr. Pearson’s opening comments included, “Never before in recorded history have a group of defendants engaged in such misleading and unfair business practices."

Never before? Oh please…

     Most of us don’t need a presiding judge to know that the pure, unadulterated truth is not being told. Mr. Pearson isn’t being honest with himself, never mind what’s coming out of his mouth in the courtroom after being sworn to “tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”

     One of the steps of GOMO!, Get Over it; Move On! is the second step of, “Own the facts.” Make the decision to be truthful. Avoid the defensiveness, embellishment, exaggeration, omissions, and generalizations that often obscure the truth. Make the decision to accept that human error happens and can be resolved with reason.

     There’s no question in my mind that the more quickly Mr. Pearson decides to be “honorable with honesty,” the more quickly he will be able to Get Over the lost pants, and “keep his shirt on” when human error occurs.

technorati tags: GOMO!, consumer fraud, drycleaner, Roy Pearson, truth

Rutgers, Imus and GOMO!®

I’m fascinated by the Rutgers and “what’s his name” uproar. All kinds of people are weighing with opinions and points of view.

In my fascination (and perhaps, frustration!), I’ve decided to weigh in with a few thoughts too.

1. I’m remembering the quote, “There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary” (Brendan Behan). And I’ve heard more than one publicist say, “there is no bad publicity”, so let’s stop giving “what’s his name” the gift of publicity……….now!
2. Like thousands upon thousands, I despise the ugly words that he uttered. However those ugly words expressed a lie, not a piece of truth. Those words were a lie about talented, strong, and dedicated young women. Avoid giving his ugly lie such significant importance by the time and the energy dedicated to it. Instead, turn the focus to what is valuable truth.  "Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."-- Buddha.
3. Even more than hating “what’s his name’s words”, I’m hating the fact that the Rutgers players allowed his insult to be absorbed with responses of pain and humiliation as indicated by some of their quotes. “I think that this has scarred me for life,” related Matee Ajavon, a junior and center for the team. Heather Zurich, a sophomore forward, said the team's "moment was taken away" by Im--, whoops, I mean “what’s his name”. She goes on to say, “This week and last, we should have been celebrating our accomplishments the past season. All of our accomplishments were lost ... we were stripped of this moment by the degrading comments made."
   
   No. Absolutely not. Untrue. No way.
   
   Unless any of these young women choose to be a victim to a shock jock who has no established credibility in the sports world and who consistently uses his speech to hurt and maim with false and foul language.
   
   Each young woman on the team can make a different decision. Kia Vaughn, a sophomore center, did. She says, "Unless they've given 'ho' a whole new definition, that's not what I am". And she’s absolutely right. The idiotic and false statements of this man do not deserve one iota of credence, and we need to be careful that we don’t give him credibility with our responses. Each young woman can choose to turn away from the negativity. Instead, each young woman can decide to refocus on the power and the beauty of each team member, on their commitment to each other and to the team, and on their incredible season achievement- made possible by physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual strength. Now that deserves time and attention.
4. Rutgers team members deserve better. And they can remove themselves from the current fray of dissension on this issue. Something better for their hearts and heads and spirits can be found in Ephesians 6:10-16. In some detail, the verses say, “Put on the armor of God.”
   
   Players have had the counsel of Reverend DeForest Soaries (First Baptist Church of Lincoln Gardens in Somerset, NJ). I’m betting that he would agree that there is nothing more powerful than the armor of God to deflect the evil and selfishness of man and his incessant mouth.
5. This incident is one heck of an example for benefiting from the concept of GOMO!® (Get Over it; Move On!). Last Friday, Coach Stringer expressed the reality of the team’s sorrow in the experience and then making a decision for forgiveness. She indicated that the team had accepted the apology of Mr. Imus. She said that he deserves a chance to move on and that she hopes for a positive change as an outcome from his racist and sexist insult. She went on to say that “we are in the process of forgiving”.
   
   Using different words, Coach Springer expressed the awareness that even the most initially painful issues require a GOMO!® if there is a desire for emotional strength and emotional freedom. Holding on to hurt, anger, and bitterness binds us. GOMO!® with forgiveness releases us. Instead of remaining victims to an ugly falsehood, the team has chosen the power of forgiveness which not only gives them their emotional freedom, but gives the gift of freedom to their “enemy” as well. Now they are prepared to “move on”.

"The nobler sort of man emphasizes the good qualities in others, and does not accentuate the bad. The inferior does the reverse."-- Confucius.

Is it time to give a “what’s his name” in your life a GOMO!® ????

technorati tags: character forgiveness GOMO! Rutgers Imus